I walked into the restroom at the museum
and waited amongst the other women for my turn.
In my stall, I gagged
smell of everyone's cunt.
Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad smell,
when you're asking for it.
But when you're not,
and it blows your way,
it's a pungent
But maybe it's a good way to die.
"CHOKED ON MANY UNIDENTIFIED CUNTS"
Never mind that. I'm over the sickness.
I took the map out of the box because I know that I will never speak to you again.
Years ago I challenged myself to do something that scared me at least once a day.
Of course, like this 52 week challenge, I forgot.
So now, I'm back on it.
I'm saying yes to things that scare me.
I'm doing things that are difficult for me.
So we'll see how that goes.
It feels great to finally feel like I'm coming back into myself.
I wanted you to help me put the map on my wall, but now, every time I think about it I start to feel sick to my stomach. So it's still in the box waiting to see if you'll ever speak to me again.
I want to know your fears.
I want to see what you do in the middle of the night.
It doesn't all have to be pretty.
I've skipped so many weeks, but hey- Life happens.
This is week...... number something!
If you don't already know,
I began this project to document 52 weeks of life,
but also, to insert myself into my work.
Documenting life inside my home (and sometimes outside)
has become a practice in trying to build confidence in front of the camera
and is becoming a way for me to archive memories
as well as share something raw.
I give you A Truth, if you will.
I woke up at 4am this morning because I was bored in my sleep.
I don't know if it's some form of mania or if this kind of thing just happens to everyone every once in a while.
These images are from the last week, inside of my home.
I found these behind an antique store... and I took them!
But every time I see them I ask myself, "Why do I have these?"
Being with someone controlling is like this:
You feel happy enough to dance,
but as soon as you start dancing, they grab your arms and try to move you to their beat.
So you stop dancing because you feel like a marionette.
And when they ask you why you stopped dancing, you say you just didn't want to anymore.
So then they tell you to dance,
but you know how it goes.
It's just a cycle.
They'll restrain you.
You'll explain how you just wanted to dance.
They'll tell you you can dance.
You'll tell them you don't need permission.
You'll become mute.
They'll ask why you don't want to talk to them.
You'll want to say "Cause you're sucking my soul."
But you'll just want to move on,
and you'll hope that things will change.
But they don't change.
It's just a cycle.
Until you decide to dance alone or with people who dance with you, without grabbing your arms or trying to pull your strings.
Each person dances how they want, and sometimes you'll twirl each other around.
That's called respect.
That's the only good cycle out there.
Don't let anyone restrain you.
She would remain elusive
and I would tell her that
she reminds me of me.
I have let so many loves fade away.
I'll be in Austin this weekend to visit Women and Their Work.
If you are interested in submitting for to them, go to their site. I believe they're accepting proposals until March 30!
Because of this, I'll be missing two openings that I'm very very excited about!
SO I WANT TO SHARE THEM WITH YOU!
Photographer Jessica Alvarenga shares her collection, Southern Queers at Siphon Coffee.
Check it out Saturday, 7-9pm as part of FotoFest.
See more of her work here: http://jessofelia.com/jessofelia.com/
RSVP on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/events/117578369021041/
I'm also excited to feature some of my own works (jewelry) in Jessica's photographs.
She is an inspiring advocate and artist who is doing incredible work, not just for her but also for the people she works with.
SIDE NOTE: It's important to keep pushing for acceptance, and by helping to highlight our queer friends, we create visibility. It isn't to push our "gay agenda" on anyone. It is to gain acceptance for our LGBTQIA family, and to reach out to younger and older persons who may not share the same values as us. Without making work like this, we cannot help educate the public. The most important reason to share this sort of work is help save lives. And that may seem like a stretch, and many people are absolutely more accepting of us since in 2018, but there are still so many parts of the world, including the US, where suicide rates among LGBTQIA people are extremely high, where people are ostracized, beaten, and killed for their sexuality. I am in a place in my life where I crave openness and learning, and I believe that it is important for us and future generations to talk about taboos, so that we create more openness and acceptance.
Also, just go see the photos because they're really great!
FULL MOON! "WORM MOON"
Current state of Mishi:
Working on strengthening relationships with people
Working on working
Attempting to set aside time for creative endeavours
Trying to remember to stay practical
Next week I will have a little surprise featuring one of my favorite Houston artists!
Fare thee well!
Keep on glowing, glow worms!